There is no place like home. -L. Frank Baum​​

Big Horn sheep in Big Sky, MT

I'm writing this on the way back to SF Bay Area from a relaxing, week-long stay in Big Sky, Montana with friends. The last couple of months have felt busy with finalizing improvements on our house, going to final doc/dentist visits, shlepping our greatly reduced stuff to Decourcy island, and bittersweet, last meals with friends and family. Mike completed the Herculean job of digitizing all of our paper photos. It concluded with our heavy, 4-inch thick, wedding album going into the garbage (after digitizing our fav pics). After about 30 year's of marriage our departing thought about that extra large paper weight was, “good riddance!”

We're in an in-between period where we don't precisely have a home. We've moved out of 122 Pecora Way, and are in a two-month period of staying with friends, family and on our 32 Nordic Tug while still in the SF Bay Area. This has got me meditating on what it's like to not exactly have a home. I gathered some fantastic quotes to help me articulate my observations.

Hot tubbing in Big Sky, MT.

Home is the nicest word there is.  -Laura Ingalls Wilder

All our productivity and vacation were made possible by the generosity of friends and family. Our friends K&K opened their home to us for 2 months. Yes, you read that right; much, much longer than fish goes bad. We also stayed with dear friends while in BC. My sister Jeanne took care of Maggie the dog while we traveled to and from Decourcy and the Big Sky trip. Our friends in Big Sky invited us to stay gratis. I'm also staying with Jeanne for a week during this in-between time. 

I'm now the subject of Barbra’s singing: “...people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” The generosity has made me feel comfortable enough to not mind this incongruous, in-between period. And the excitement of our life changes and adventure-to-come overshadows any inconvenience. 

Home is where my habits have a habitat. -Fiona Apple

We are living out of duffles and suitcases so there has been plenty of “where is my X”? moments. For continuity, we try to keep up good habits such as eating our preferred breakfasts, for instance, and taking Maggie out for solid walks. In spite of seemingly fixed habits such as streaming our shows or YouTube, this nasty habit has changed too. There's much less screen watching and more lively evening discussions. 

Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need. -Sarah Ban Breathnach

When we are running our errands, we are still saying, “ ...let's go home,” even though it's our friend’s house. I notice that when we go back to 122 Pecora, to pick up mail, for instance, we now say “let's go to the house...”. I see home these days as where I'm sleeping, or literally where my toiletries are. 

We are going to use a virtual mail address for snail mail for the next few years. You can learn about it here.  Everyone has to have a physical address, a.k.a. a domicile, for government services such as a driver's license and the IRS. We plan to use my cousin's Washington address as a physical address and will use a virtual mailbox as our “mail to address.” By filling out a notarized USPS form, we will legally use a third party to transform all snail mail to online mail. Like cloud storage for photos and satellite internet, this is a modern convenience and enabler for our adventure. The necessity of a home address puts a bureaucratic spin on the meaning of home and domicile.

AJ and Mike suited up near Navarro River, CA, Jan. 2023 

By far the hardest part of leaving the Bay Area is moving away from AJ. And, the guilt of not having a childhood home for him to come back to. Ever since we made the decision to jump into this adventuresome period we've been checking in with AJ, asking him how he's feeling about this situation. As with many 22-year-old college seniors, he's juggling his own busy life and is making his own future plans. Our plans seem to take a remote place in his life. We think he has a better head on his shoulders than we did at his age. We can leave because we have confidence in him. To be candid, we want him to observe our example of pursuing our dreams. At the same time, we are determined to use technology to stay in touch and get together no matter where we call home.

Here is one last quote, by mystery writer Henning Mankell, that sums up how this period of upheaval propels me forward. “You can have more than one home. You can carry your roots with you, and decide where they grow.” 

Ice waterfall on the Ousel Falls trail in Big Sky, MT. Watching the professionals climb.

Winter wonderland along the Ousel Falls trail in Big Sky, MT.